THANK YOU 2016

Sunday, January 1, 2017


Thank you 2016, you've been a completely bittersweet roller coaster ride filled with so many lessons. So much has happened this year, good and bad. I know I say that every year, but it's still as relevant every time. 


To be honest, it was one of the hardest years of my life. I started the year off single (after eight years of not being single) and it definitely wasn't a walk in the park. Nights were the hardest. I kept myself busy. Busier than I've ever been my entire life. I had a full time job, but at the same time I juggled a few freelance jobs, three sports, and after dropping out last year, I reapplied for uni and actually got into a course that I had zero experience in. 

There were days where I'd be awake for twenty four hours straight and survived on caffeine but there were also days where I'd wrap myself up and stay in bed for twenty four hours. I had to find a way to feel like myself again but nothing seemed to work. I blame myself every day for how I felt. And then I met someone whom made me look forward to waking up every day, whom I thought could fix me. I think I met four or five of these fixers but I couldn't seem to find a fit. I'm so used to being a girlfriend, I didn't realised how bad I am at casual dating. In the end, I seek solace in running away from commitment instead. I traveled more than I planned to because of that, booking a plane ticket every time something goes wrong with an almost lover. Traveling is great but I'm disappointed (in myself) that it took me so many failed attempts to realize - the only one that could fix me is myself, with the help of god.

The second half of the year was where a lot of changes took place. My best friend got married and so did many of my other friends. I started my first trimester in a new school, stopped wearing the hijab, started playing combat archery, quit my full time job and went back to being a freelancer. The risks I took just to feel like I'm doing something with my life again, was way beyond my comfort zone but change isn't always a bad thing. Despite the personal dilemma and setbacks, I am thankful that I got to be a part of so many joyous moments and share these milestones with my loved ones. While I am not proud of myself this year, I am blessed to have so many people to be happy for.

2016 has not been a walk in the park but here I am on the final hour to close this chapter. I still question my life decisions every single day but I have my reasons for all of my departures and for doing the things I do even though I am not proud of how I handle many things this year. Nonetheless, I try to end every year looking forward to the possibilities of the next. Almost everyone wants to travel more, experience new things, meet new and great people and be a better person. I am no different. I have a lot that I want to achieve in the next twelve chapters, and I hope that everyone else is as open to the possibilities as I am. 

It's time to close the book on twenty sixteen, and start writing the new chapters. Happy new year, everyone :) 
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