Acceptance, not endurance.

October has been nothing if not a challenging month. So much that I had to endure disappointments, regrets, loss, heart break and grief - all in the span of just thirty one days. Scratch that. The hard part wasn't enduring, it was accepting. It takes every inch of your body to be willing to accept - be it something or someone - and then make the necessary actions as to how you would or should continue the way you live your life after that realization.

Accepting the fact that I have lost the love of the one person I spent three years of my young adult life with, the same person I thought I would grow old with - for the sake of my self growth and for the sake of my future, and in that process I guess I have scarred him so much that when I wanted a breather, but he chose moving on instead.

Accepting the fact that I have lost my place, with people whom I've grown to love and appreciate, in a place I assumed would always be inclusive to anyone and everyone. That it is not obligatory for friends to include me in their plans, whether or not I include them in mine. It is perfectly normal for you to be replaced when it comes to friendships.

Accepting the fact that not all good intentions will be acknowledged. Messages can be ignored, calls can be unanswered. That no matter how worried you are or how carefully thought out your email is, it may land into the spam bucket or completely ignored, and it is perfectly normal because whether or not you get a reply depends on the person on the receiving end.

Accepting the fact that disappointments are all part and parcel of the working and studying life and your efforts don't necessarily get appreciated, no matter the amount you put in. Spending years trying to impress the wrong people and finally realizing that progression does not necessarily come with commitment. That favoritism and hierarchy are fully emphasized once you get into the working world.

Accepting the fact that death is part of living and that life has to go on for everyone else after one passes away. The grief of the first family death in my twenty three years of living, the sight of watching the strongest people I know try to keep it together and the pinch you get in your heart just wondering how they could be so strong despite not knowing what the future holds for them now that life has to be lived differently.

Lastly, accepting the fact that everything that happens in your life is through God's will and that as much as you need to put in the efforts and hard work in order to succeed, your faith in Him matters just as much, if not more. "Allah burdens no soul beyond what it can bear and Allah sends us exactly what we are ready for at the exact time we need it in our lives." 

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