2016 has officially kicked started since two weeks ago. I have never been good with saying goodbye and I couldn't really care less about bidding the past year farewell but as I stared at this blank box, my thoughts started running and I thought that 2015 deserved a post on its own because unlike any other year, the past year made a significant difference. I've learnt so much in the past 365 days than I did in my twenty two years of living. The hard way.

I finally knew what quality over quantity means when it comes to friendship. I watched people whom I thought were genuine lie straight to my face, talk behind my back without realizing that I was standing not too far away and spread rumors that didn't even made sense. The worst part was knowing that they never bothered asking for your side of the story- they were only friends with me for what they could get out of me. I finally learned how it felt to be left behind, left out, and how it felt to be on the outside looking in. Truth be told, it isn't that bad. I now know that I shouldn't trust too easily, and that I should always keep a layer of myself for people who care enough to stick around through the good and bad. I now understand that  

I finally learned how it felt like to make serious decisions. I got rejected by SIM but I got accepted into Edinburgh University. I was elated because I was a step closer to getting my bachelors' degree. Unfortunately, my finances weren't enough for me to attend classes. I had to choose between studying or traveling, and I chose the latter. I understood the fact that I am wasting such a good opportunity but getting a degree wasn't my top priority at that point. Some called me stupid and irrational, but I never regretted withdrawing myself from uni because I knew what I wanted then, and a degree wasn't what I wanted, yet.

I traveled more times than I have ever did in any other year. Krabi, Kuala Lumpur, Batam, Riau Islands, Perth, Jakarta, Bangkok and South Korea, twice. At the start of the year, I made it a point to travel at least once every two months. I was broke almost every month from having to pay for my travel plans but I made sure I put in enough effort to fulfill it and I did. The places I traveled to aren't as majestic as others have been to, but I worked had for them and they weren't free. Obviously, I would've hoped to be able to go to countries like New Zealand and Iceland - but at that point of time, the great affair is to move. It's about the why and how, not where.

I lost the person I thought was the right one for me. Time, money and love over the years invested have gone to waste and whether any of us liked it or not, things happened. I am just glad that it ended now, rather than further down the road, because then it would've been. End of story.

I placed more faith onto my creator. I have been thinking about covering myself up for awhile so I took progressive steps to reach that end goal, but I kept finding excuses because I had always been waiting for the right time - that was when it finally hit me - there is no such thing as the right time. On my dad's supposed birthday, and after I got back from Perth, I took that leap and placed all the faith that I had on my creator and started donning the hijab. This story should be written and saved for another day but I never looked back since.  

Thank you Allah, for all the things that had happened in the past year. If I had not known sadness, I would have not known gratitude. All I am asking for in this new year is for me to be more open hearted and positive. Come what may, 2016, because Allah burdens no soul beyond what it can bear. May we all be blessed with the patience and strength to overcome whatever it is that is being put in our way. Insya'Allah.