Halfway Gone

Ramadhan this year flew past faster than I could imagine. I have to admit, it has been the most mentally and emotionally challenging one yet. The fasting month this year has made me realize that if I don't get what I want, I'll be disappointed. If I get what I don't want, I'll be just as disappointed. Even when I get exactly what I want, I will still end up being disappointed because I can't hold on to it forever. 

This month also made me realize how everything in my life will conveniently go downhill every single time I forget to remember the almighty or subconsciously skipped my prayers. I would feel restless, lost and keep thinking that nothing is right, yet at the same time, nothing is wrong. And how everything magically turns back around when I go back on my knees for Him. 

I can't believe how ignorant I have been towards my own religion, my own belief, ever since I became a young adult. You know when you're still ten years old and your mother sends you to religious classes every weekend? As much as how young and naive I was back then, I have to say, that was when I learnt the most about my religion. It irks me, how I still claim that I am a Muslim but sometimes my actions don't follow through anymore. I keep using the excuse that I'm still learning or I'm too busy to pay attention to details, but am I, really?